Tealess
by nindroidzane
Summary: Sensei ran out of tea! And sent Zane to the Dark Island to get more! What will happen when the ninja get tea loss? Will Zane return with tea? Read to find out! No flames please!
1. Chapter 1 - TEA!

**New story! Again!**

**Zane P.O.V**

"Hello brothers. What are you doing?" I ask, coming on to the deck of the bounty. "We're seeing how many cardboard enemies Kai can defeat at once. So far, he can defeat 3 stone warriors, 5 serpentine, 15 skeletons, and his clone self!" Jay says excitingly. "Now you can try the great devourer and the overlord!" Cole says pulling a string and causing two cardboard figures, each as tall as 5000 skyscrapers, to pop up. "And they come with lasers!" Jay exclaims, pushing a button. "I'm going to walk away now. Good luck Kai!" I say, running away as fast as I can. "NOOOO! HELP ME ZANE! HELP MEEEeeeee..." Kai screams with lasers shooting in the background.

"Good morning Sensei! What are you doing today?" I ask Sensei, getting a new start to the day. Without giant laser-shooting pieces of cardboard trying to kill Kai. "Drinking tea. You?" Sensei asks, drinking tea. "Developing a new fear of cardboard." I say, wincing as I hear Kai scream for help again. "Zane, can you do me a favour and go buy me some more tea? I promise there won't be any cardboard." Sensei teases me. At least I think he's teasing me. He looks pretty serious. "No is not an option." "Ok Sensei, I'll get your tea. At least I won't have to hear Kai scream anymore if I do." I hope. "Why would Kai be screaming?" "Go look on deck." "I'd rather not." "Then I'll go buy the tea now." "Make sure to get 50 teas!" "I'm going to leave now!" I shout to Sensei, jumping off the deck. "ZANE! NOOO!" Jay screams. "I'm just buying Sensei some tea!" I shout to him. "Buying Sensei tar?" Cole asks, but that distracts me and I land in a thorn bush. "Ow." I mutter, climbing out. "SORRY ZANE!" Cole and Jay shout in unison. "Come say sorry to me! You have a giant, cardboard great devourer and overlord attacking me! As if the real ones weren't hard enough to beat!" Kai shouts, running around in circles. "SORRY KAI!" Cole and Jay shout, grabbing hammers and running to the cardboard replicas.

There's the tea store! Why is it closed? Maybe this note will explain it. 'The tea store is closed forever, because no one drinks tea anymore. Go drink some coffee!' Lots of people still drink tea! Good thing there's a tea shop right next door! Another note? 'We are closed because we are restocking. Since the other tea store is closed, we have to give everyone in Ninjago tea! Come back next week!' Oh well, I better go tell Sensei he won't be getting tea for a week.

"What do you mean no tea?!" Sensei screams at me. It is not helping that Kai, Cole, Jay and Lloyd are sitting right behind us eating popcorn. "One tea store is closed forever, and the other is restocking. For some reason, those are the only two tea shops in Ninjago." I explain to the enraged Sensei. "No Zane, there is my private tea shop. It is open always." Sensei explains. "Really? Where is it?" I ask. "In the middle of the dark island." Sensei reveals. "Do I have to Sensei? Why can't the others?" "If there is something evil left there, Kai would probably attack it and then come home, forgetting my tea. Jay can't swim without floaties, and I don't want any of the other senseis to see one of my ninja wearing floaties. Cole would probably get thirsty on the way back and drink my tea. Lloyd is a child. Well, on the inside, at least. And you're not doing anything anyway! You're just walking around asking people questions!" Sensei lectures. I could just walk away right now and come back in week. Then I'll come back with tea! Like he was reading my mind, Sensei starts pulling out cardboard Sensei. "I'm gone!" I say, running away.

**There is a LOT more where that came from! Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2 - Tealoss

**Thank you for all of the reviews!**

Kai P.O.V

"How did you do that?" I ask, watching Zane run for his life. "Before Zane left to the tea shop before, he said he was 'Developing a new fear for cardboard.' I thought that it would probably be a good idea to make a cardboard me, so I could scare him when I'm bored. Turns out, it's much more useful than that. And besides, who doesn't have a cardboard Sensei?" Sensei asks jokingly. "I know I do!" I say, smiling and giving Sensei a thumbs up. "What?! How?!" Sensei asks, panicking. "Buy one today at WWW. cardboardSensei .com! Or call us at 153-624-TEA!" I say, still smiling. "Who are you talking to?" Lloyd asks, staring at the panicking Sensei. "Tea loss. It happens to everyone. Even us. Kai and Sensei just happened to be first. Especially Kai, apparently." Jay says shrugging. "I'm going back to bed." Lloyd sighs, walking out the door. "Please hurry Zane!" I hear Cole whispering, before I get a phone call from someone wanting a cardboard Sensei.

Zane P.O.V

Now that I think about it, this was a bad idea. It will probably take me about 5 weeks to get to the Dark Island, find Sensei's secret tea shop, get the tea, and come back. It would be much easier to just wait a week. Plus, I think Sensei's watching me somehow.

Cole P.O.V

"What are you doing, Sensei?" I ask. "Watching Zane." Sensei replies calmly. "How?" "Magic." "How are you using magic?" "I use all kinds of magic behind your backs." "Such as?" "Spirit smoke, pixie dust, magic scrolls, extra sacred flutes, tea that turns you younger, un-hypno spray, snake attracters, instant fangpyre/venomari cure, anti-evil candy canes, a cure for everything disguised as a mushroom, magical beard growing tea..." " I knew it!" Jay shouts from the other room. "Ok then. Sensei, a lot of that stuff could have helped us! Why didn't you use it?!" I ask demandingly. "You guys figured it out, didn't you?" "Yes, but..." "No buts! Go sit in the corner and watch Zane!" "Wha...?" "With this mini plastic telescope!" "Ok..." I say uncertainly. Sensei on tea loss is way too confusing.

Zane P.O.V

I sense an evil presence. It's that guy that collects stuff! Wait, why is he evil? "I'm gonna catch a robot!" He says, walking around in circles. Oh. Well, normally I'd be ok with that, but right now I've got to get Sensei's tea.

As I keep walking, I realize that the random collector guy couldn't have been the evil presence. I still sense it. What is the evil presence?! "It's me!" "Oh no! And invisible mind reader! I'm going to die!" I panic sarcastically. "No! I'm your mind!" "So, my mind is evil?" I ask my mind. "Yes." "Or are you just distracting me until the real enemy gets here?" I ask suspiciously. "Maybe." "Well, I'm going to go now, so..." I say, getting cut off by a giant net. More like caught in a giant net!

**If this chapter is kind of short, I'm sorry.** **Please read my other stories! And please review!**


	3. Chapter 3 - Hay!

**Hi.**

**Lloyd P.O.V**

I wonder if Zane's back? I should probably go see what everyone else is doing, if he's not. "Hey guys." I say, half yawning. But as soon as I step in the room, I instantly regret it. "Cole, Jay." I say, uncertainly. "Yes?" Cole asks, nervously sweating. "Why is Sensei on the ceiling?" "Because he's still on tea loss." "Where is the tea?" "On the dark island, still." "Where's Zane?" "Still getting the tea." "How long was I sleeping?" "WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING QUESTIONS?!" Jay screams, flailing his arms around for reasons unknown. "One more." "Fine, go ahead." "Why is Kai advertising Sensei Soap instead of cardboard Sensei? And why does he have Sensei Soap?!" I ask, pointing to Kai, who is currently holding Sensei shaped soap. "That... That doesn't have any sensible answer. That is the only thing I'm sure about anymore." Cole says, looking at Kai with a weird look on his face. "He's been advertising stuff like that since you went back to bed. And the weird part is that he is actually selling that stuff! He doesn't even have a camera or anything to advertise with! It makes no sense!" Jay screams hearing the phone ring. "It's Zane! For all of those Sensei themed products you really need, go to WWW. cardboardSensei .com!" Kai shouts, continuing his unfilmed commercial. "Zane? Why and how are you calling us?" I ask, picking up the phone. "I'm in a giant net!" Zane whispers, the phone all scratchy. "Why is it so fuzzy? Where are you?" "I just told you! In a giant net!" "Why?" "Because someone, or something, caught me in one!" "Why'd they do that?" "Who is this?" "Lloyd, of course." "Give the phone to Kai." "I'd rather not." "Why?" "He's advertising Sensei Cereal." "I don't want to know. Is Cole good?" "Yes." "Give me Cole." "Alright, here." I mutter, grudgingly giving Cole the phone.

**Cole P.O.V**

"Hello?" "Hi Cole." "What's up?" "Did you hear Lloyd's half of the conversation?" "Yes." "What did you hear?" "I heard these. Zane? Why and how are you calling us? Why is it so fuzzy? Where are you? Why? Why'd they do that? Lloyd, of course. I'd rather not. He's advertising Sensei Cereal. Yes. Alright, here. That's all I heard. It's not that clear." "Lloyd asked a lot of questions. Now, before you ask, I'm in a giant net." Zane says, sounding pretty calm for a guy in a giant net. "Cole?" "Yes?" "Tell Sensei his tea might be late." "What if he attacks me?" "At least you won't be in a net." "I'll probably end up in a cage." "Me too." "Well, bye then." "No! Don't leave me!" Zane shouts, as a voice in the background says "Hey!" and the phone hangs up.

**Zane P.O.V**

"Hay is for horses! And other animals such as cows, donkeys, ponies, and sheep." I say, my smartness kicking in. "I eat hay." "Who are you?!" "Who are YOU?" "Because I caught you in it." "_Why_?!" "Because you're a nindroid." "_SO WHAT?!"_ I scream at the guy. "So... Ummm... Actually, I'm not sure." The guy says scratching his head. "This is ridiculous." I mutter, facepalming as I effortlessly kick a hole in the net. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Wait. Why am I so upset? Whatever." The guy asks himself, walking away. That was weird. Well, I better keep going.

**Jay P.O.V**

"What was that all about?" I ask after Cole hangs up the phone. "Who cares? We have our own problems at the moment." Cole says, gesturing to Kai, who's being mauled by his customers who all want something Sensei-related, and actual Sensei, who is for some reason running in circles, screaming, and slapping anyone who comes close. Who isn't very many people, because he's floating in the air. "That doesn't even make any sense!" "That Sensei's floating?" Cole asks me. "No. That Kai's stuff is actually selling." "Whatever." Cole says, rolling his eyes. "Hey Cole, guess what." "What, Jay?! What do you want?!" ",,,,," "What does that even mean?!" "::" "Are you...?" "$$$" "YOU'RE ON TEA LOSS! YOU'RE SPEAKING IN SYMBOLS!" Cole screams, running away. "! #$/^:.'?+_%={}[]¡`€\|¤÷· £€¥₩《》¿" I say. I think it makes perfect sense.

**Cole P.O.V**

It's official. I'm alone. I'm the only normal one now. I have the one who defies physics, the magical Sensei advertiser, the symbol-speaking one, the one in the giant net, and me. Poor me. It almost makes me WANT to go on tea loss! Plus, now that I think about it, tea loss sounds like either a medical condition, or, something, else...

I'm getting that thought out of my head now. I've got to focus. Focus. Focusss... I'm tired. I know! I know I know I know! I know how to make the others stop freaking me out! I'll tie Sensei to the ground, tape Jay's mouth shut, spray Kai's customers with a hose and steal his Sensei things, his creepy creepy Sensei things... Well, I better get to it! Maybe I'll call Zane first, though. He might of escaped from the net by now. But how? I don't even know how he called here! I'll just type in some random numbers! How about: 153-624-721! Wait! NO! That's The cardboard Sensei number! "Hello? How may I Sensei you?" "Kai? What does that even mean?" "Cole! Since you're my 'brother', you get anything you want, FOR FREE!" "Ummm, no. Bye." I say, hanging up. 189-436-003. "Hello...?" "Cole?" "Zane?!" "Yes?" "Zane!" "Cole...?" "Zane?" "Cole!" "Zane!" "Ok, can we stop now?" "Ok. Are you still in a net?" "Nope." "Good!" "I've got to go, Cole." "Why?" "I have to swim to the Dark Island." "BUT EVERYONE'S ON TEA LOSS!" "By the time I get back, you will be too. What's wrong with everyone else, anyway?" "Sensei is gravity-defying, Kai is Sensei-advertising, and Jay is symbol-speaking." "And Lloyd...?" "Lloyd! I'm not alone!" "I am." "Sorry Zane, I have go find Lloyd!" "Of course you do." Zane says before I hang up the phone without saying bye.

**Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4 - Errm, I don't know!

**Forgive MEEEEEEEE!**

**Zane P.O.V**

Oh, Cole. When will he ever learn? Hanging up on people isn't nice. Plus, I have to swim the ocean. Maybe I'll call Kai. He might have Sensei boats or something... 153-624-721. "Hello? How may I Sensei you? Do you need a Sensei product?" "As weird as it sounds, yes. Yes I do." "Zane? Let me guess! You want... Sensei... gears! You want Sensei gears!" "..." "You're speechless! That's a good sign!" "Kai, what happened to you? You seem... different." "Says you." "Kai. Let me talk to Jay for a minute." "Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!" This is bad. This is really really bad. "%+==\ &~+" "Ummm?" "/ ¤&/ %+==\ &~+" "Sorry, I don't understand. Bye Jay." "~\ \~'· =+&[+ ÷+" He...says? Before I hang up.

What happened to my friends? Kai's... different, I can't understand anything Jay says, Lloyd keeps going back to bed, and Cole hung up on me! No, wait, that last ones normal. I guess I should start swimming now... "ROAR!" Is that the dragon? No, it's... the laviathon?! I knew freeing it was a good idea! "Hi!" "Roar!" "Are you enjoying being free?" "Roar!" "I'll take that as a yes. Could you help me get to the Dark Island?" "Roar!" The laviathon roars, grabbing me with a tentacle and swimming to the Dark Island.

**I am REALLY bad at updating! Please don't hate me! Review instead!**


	5. Chapter 5 - Poor Lloyd

**Here's another chapter! I know, I know. It took me long enough.**

**Lloyd P.O.V**

Am I in the underworld? These guys are acting nightmarish! And like skeletons. "Lloyd? Lloyd!" Cole calls, walking into the room that I'm trying to walk out of. "Stay back, Cole! Stay back!" I cry, holding my hands up to defend my self from whatever stupid tealoss did to him. "Lloyd, stop it! I haven't been driven to insanity. _Yet_. So, before we both do, do you want to help me stop the others from being extremely annoying?" "Sure! What do we need?" "Some rope, chairs, duct tape, a net, and two really big hoses." "Umm, alright, that's a weird list." "This is a weird situation! Go get the stuff, slave!" Uh oh. I better get some extras too, it looks like Cole's next.

I'm jealous of Nya! She's off doing whatever, while I'm here taking care of people who were annoying enough before this whole... I don't even know what to call it! I've got a bunch of random soaking wet people, who want to buy Kai's creepy Sensei things, running away because I sprayed them both a hose, Kai's actual creepy Sensei things in a net locked in a closet under the floor, Kai himself tied to a chair with his mouth taped shut, Sensei Wu tied (and duct taped) to the ground, Jay with, like, 29 giant rolls of duct tape taped to his mouth, and King Cole. Because, apparently, Cole's the king now, and I'm his slave. Good thing I bought this extra lock so I can lock him in the closet! "Hey, your highness, come into this closet for a second." "Why, slave?" See? I told you, didn't I? He calls me slave! Why am I talking to myself?! "There's cake!" "Alright, Lloyd! I love cake! Who made it? I hope it was Zane! He makes good cake! And, well, every other food too!" What? He was normal there for a second! Well, I still need to lock him in before he tries to get me executed.

And that's exactly the reason I do not feel bad for Zane! He's not being drowned in crazy people who he thinks of as family, but they think of him AS A SLAVE! And who are so close to escaping I- err, _he_ could cry! But he _is_ going to the DarkIsland to get a measly pot of tea... eh, that measly pot of tea will solve _my_ problems, and that's all that matters to me! Because I'm a _great_ person!

**Here's a short chapter of what Lloyd thinks about all of this right about now! Please review!**


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